Beckham Parties, But Doesn’t Play

While we fully understand the Beckhams’ move to the U.S. is the most glamorous celebrity news of the year and the best chance American soccer has to beat out the spelling bee in TV rankings, we can’t help but chuckle at how ridiculous this has become. We couldn’t believe that the night after David barely even played in his first game, he and Victoria were invited to a party thrown by the likes of Tom Cruise and Will Smith! Other than being incredibly good looking, athletic and musically talented what do they have to offer? Ok…question answered. Please accept our apologies in the form of this “Welcome to America” playlist!

1. Welcome To The Jungle – Guns N’ Roses
2. American Dream – Nelly
3. Out In L.A. – Red Hot Chili Peppers
4. Going To California – Led Zeppelin Tribute
5. Party Like A Rockstar – Shop Boyz
6. Courtesy Of The Red White and Blue – Toby Keith
7. Where’s The Party? – Madonna
8. Soccer Ball Buster – Roy Mercer
9. Volvo Driving Soccer Mom – Everclear
10. Who Do You Think You Are? – Spice Girls
    

Clue – Potter Style

On July 21, millions of children will drag their parents to bookstores around the globe and stand in line for hours to be one of the first to purchase J.K. Rowling’s highly anticipated “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows.” Rumor has it the book will conclude with Harry’s death prompting fans, critics and bloggers to play their own little games of Clue. Will it be Lord Voldemort in the Great Hall with a wand or the Weasley twins in the Chamber of Secrets with motorized plungers? Here are some diabolical tunes to get you thinking!

1. Soul Suckin, Jerk – Beck
2. Unsavable – Faith Hill
3. Born To Die – Barbara Mandrell
4. The End – The Doors
5. Witchy Woman – The Eagles
6. Don’t Leave Me This Way – Thelma Houston
7. To Be Or Not To Be – The Bee Gees
8. Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying – Fall Out Boy
9. In Pieces – Linkin Park
10. Nothing Lasts Forever – Maroon 5

Independence Day Jaw Dropper

To be honest, we aren’t even excited about July 4th anymore. Not one bit. Sure, there will be fireworks and barbecues, but it just doesn’t seem right to celebrate our independence without Takeru Kobayashi. The skinny Japanese kid who eats more hotdogs in an hour than we could eat, well…ever, has withdrawn from this year’s annual July 4 Nathan's Famous hot dog eating event at New York's Coney Island after being diagnosed with jaw arthritis. While his future plans are uncertain, we think a man that talented with his mouth could surely have a career in singing, starting with these delicious songs…

1. TITLE TRACK: Hot Dog – Limp Bizkit
2. Too Much Food – Jason Mraz
3. Wish Lunch Could Last Forever – Jimmy Buffet
4. Atomic Dog – George Clinton
5. Eat Your Dog – Bad Religion
6. Skinny Sweaty Man – Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. Food For Songs – Del Amitri
8. Big Mouth Strikes Again – Treepeople
9. Live and Learn – The Cardigans
10. So I Quit – Filter

Who’s Your Daddy?

While Eddie Murphy’s beloved character “Donkey” has delighted millions of children this summer in the blockbuster hit “Shrek 3” it appears that Murphy himself may be the one feeling like a donkey’s behind after recent paternity tests have confirmed that he is indeed the father of former “Scary” Spice Girl Mel B.’s child. Though the two parents have not discussed child care details, we thought that Eddie could probably use a few tunes to listen to as he prepares for a little “Daddy Day Care” action of his own…

1. TITLE TRACK: Spice up your Life - Spice Girls
2. G Bedtime Stories – Snoop Dogg
3. Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N Roses
4. Oughta Know By Now – Phil Collins
5. Born To Be My Baby – Bon Jovi
6. Tainted Love – Soft Cell
7. Cats in the Cradle – Harry Chapin
8. Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarls Barkley
9. Father of Mine – Everclear
10. We Are Family – Sister Sledge

Barker departure impacts spayed and neutered pet population

This is no laughing matter people. While everyone is worried about who’s going to replace old Bobby on the Price is Right, the undercurrent in animal activism circles is that we’re facing a dramatic increase in pet reproduction. Whether you appreciate it or not, Bob’s decades-long commitment to controlling the pet population had more positive impact than we realized. We, and the rest of the animal-loving population, will miss you! Enjoy our Goodbye Bob, Hello Pet Population Explosion playlist.

1. So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday – Boyz II Men
2. Closing Time – Semisonic
3. Who Let the Dogs Out – Baha Men
4. Don’t Do Me Like That – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5. Cuts Like a Knife – Bryan Adams
6. Forbidden Love - Madonna
7. Cool for Cats – Squeeze
8. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction – The Rolling Stones
9. Love Shack – B-52’s (Warner)

Paris Hilton Goes to Jail… Again

Who would have thought that everybody’s favorite socialite would end up in jail twice in one week? We certainly didn’t! So we just had to create a playlist for the special occasion to honor the judge’s decision to order her to complete her original 45-day sentence. The ruling prompted a dramatic reaction from the socialite, causing her to weep and scream out for her mother, "Mom! Mom! No! It's not right!"

1. TITLE TRACK: Screwed – Paris Hilton (Warner)
2. Bad Girls – Donna Summer (Universal)
3. Wanted Dead or Alive – Bon Jovi (Universal)
4. Knock Me Down – Red Hot Chili Peppers (EMI)
5. What I’ve Done – Linkin Park (Warner)
6. Epiphany – Staind (Warner)
7. Baby Did a Bad Thing – Chris Isaak (Warner)
8. Jailhouse – Sublime (Universal)
9. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me – Culture Club (EMI)
10. Rich Girl – Hall and Oates (Universal)